


the self indulgent problematic kink collection

by bunnymatsu



Category: Dear Evan Hansen - Pasek & Paul/Levenson
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Biting, Bratting, Crying, Dom/sub, Drabble Collection, Face Slapping, Hate Sex, Implied Sexual Content, Implied/Referenced Sex, Knifeplay, M/M, Making Out, Marking, Masochism, No Aftercare, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Plot What Plot/Porn Without Plot, Sadism, Self-Indulgent, Unrequited Love
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-11
Updated: 2021-03-11
Packaged: 2021-03-18 20:21:36
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,580
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29988339
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bunnymatsu/pseuds/bunnymatsu
Summary: yeah so i wanted to write horrible shit, here it is! this is where im gonna put all my 'on a whim' smut decisions from now on.
Relationships: Jared Kleinman/Connor Murphy
Kudos: 3





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> hate sex is.... very good. technically no sex happens but it's very sexually charged lmao,,

Jared hissed out a breath, eyes brimming with involuntary tears. It wasn't his fault; this fucking _hurt_. Connor's fingers had a death grip on his hair, tugging it back just enough that Jared was forced to maintain eye contact. He _could_ look away, but he knew better than to try. Connor wasn't one to fuck around if he really got into this mood.

"What, does it hurt?" Connor asked, having an almost serene smile that was so goddamn _infuriating_ and yet Jared couldn't tear his eyes away. It was clear that he was only mocking him, he didn't care at all if it hurt. In fact, he almost definitely wanted it to.

"Shut up," Jared mumbled, confidence wavering. Not that he had much in this situation anyway. His dignity was pretty much non-existent. "You know it does."

"I could really be doing a lot worse, for how much of a fucking _brat_ you are." The words were hissed out more than they were spoken, and it sent goosebumps up Jared's arms. He wasn't sure if he loved or hated just how much he was getting off on this.

"I could slam your head against that wall, you know. Knock you the fuck out. Or wrap my hand around your throat and squeeze until you're more fucking _braindead_ than usual," Connor continued, this time leaning in close to speak right next to Jared's ear. His knees felt weak.

"You don't need to- to do all that," Jared protested lamely, eyes darting aside. This earned him a harsh slap across his cheek, made worse by Connor's rings. He yelped at the sting. Now there _were_ tears. Connor didn't seem to care at all, if anything, he liked it.

"I told you earlier to look at me. Are you too fucking stupid to even remember that much?"

"No. You were- were _threatening_ me"

"And you liked it." Jared opened his mouth as if to speak again, but closed it immediately after. Connor was right.

"Mmhm. That's what I thought, fucking painslut," Connor practically cooed, making Jared's face burn. He ran his hand gently down his cheek and Jared flinched, expecting another smack. This just made Connor laugh before he suddenly leaned in to tug Jared into a harsh kiss. Jared yelped once more, feeling his lip being bitten, hard. He whined and clutched onto the back of the sweatshirt that Connor was still wearing. It didn't last nearly long enough.

Before he could even process it, Jared was being shoved to his knees.

"Open your mouth. I know you'll at least be good for that much."


	2. kleinphy enemies w/ benefits part two electric boogaloo

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> uh y'know.... still no actual sex yet lmaooo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> tw for knifeplay and dubious consent in this one, just know that it's very consensual, they've got arrangements that i didn't explicitly state.

"Why are you here?" Jared stood in his doorway and looked up warily at the tired looking Connor standing outside his apartment door at nearly 1 in the morning. 

"Couldn't sleep. You gonna let me in, or am I gonna have to just go get high in the park?" 

"You're so fucking lame. Just- Ugh, come on." Jared sighed heavily and stepped aside, rolling his eyes. Connor bumped his shoulder in a way that Jared knew was entirely intentional, there was more than enough room to avoid that. He leaned forward and pressed the door closed, locking it again. 

Connor was already rummaging around in Jared's kitchen before he even had a chance to fully turn around. 

"Dude. What the fuck?"

"You don't have anything good."

"Uh. Even if I did, that's not your shit. Is this what you came here for? To raid the fridge of a broke college kid?" Jared crossed his arms. "Just.. Be quiet about it. I don't give a shit." He truthfully didn't have the energy for this, just walking past the kitchen to his bedroom. 

The apartment was sparse. Again, Jared was a broke college kid. He was currently in the process of trying to find a new roommate ever since his old one had moved in with his girlfriend. Jared's bedroom was about the size of a shoebox, housing a mattress on the floor, a tiny closet, and a nightstand. The rest of his stuff, desk and chairs, resided in the living room. 

He shuffled in and tugged off his shirt and jeans, leaving himself in a pair of boxers that was adequate for sleeping. The thought crossed his mind to lock his bedroom door, but it was just Connor. Then again. Maybe it being Connor was a _reason_ to lock it.

Jared ended up leaving it alone and just turning off his light before curling up on his floor mattress. He closed his eyes, but then he heard footsteps down the hall. Damn it. He should've known sleeping wasn't going to be an option for him tonight. 

"C'mon, I think you know by now that I don't usually just come over for nothing." 

"Could've just said that," He snarked. "Whatever. I get it, you're inconsiderate." Jared didn't really mind in all honesty, but he wasn't honest. This was their dynamic anyway, hating each other in every way except physically.

"I like you better when you shut your mouth. Sit up." Connor was barely in the room, still halfway in the door. Jared squinted at him for a moment, debating on how bad the repercussions would be this time if he didn't comply. Connor didn't look to be in the mood to do much playing around.

"Goodnight." Jared flopped over onto his stomach and pulled the blanket up over his head. He knew fully well that this wouldn't be the end of it, but he wasn't in the mood to just _submit_. He had more pride than that.

As expected, soon, the blanket was being ripped off, and Jared could feel Connor against him. His breathing quickened, but he secretly grinned against his pillow.

"Don't move." 

Jared felt the weight off of him a moment later, hearing rustling. He didn't bother turning around. Before long Connor was back, and his hand snaked around to grip his neck firmly but teasingly gently all the same. Jared finally looked up and stared at the window in front of him. He couldn't really look anywhere else. At least the blinds were shut.

Then he felt Connor's hand leave his throat, replaced soon after by a cool metal... Blade. Of _course_ he had a fucking knife. Jared's heartbeat increased and he squirmed a bit, only to stop and let out a choked gasp as the blade pressed harder. He realized only then that it was the back of it, he wasn't being cut. Not _yet_ at least. 

"You gonna listen to me now, bitch?" 

Jared's stubbornness wanted him not to reply at all, but his fear won.

"Yes, yeah, mhm," He quickly confirmed, swallowing. He could feel his Adam's apple bob against the blade and it sent shivers throughout his body.

"Good, that's what I thought. Now shut the fuck up and let me use you."

~

Jared stared up at the popcorn ceiling, trying to ignore the presence of the man beside him. Connor was on his side facing away, and Jared found that it was best to not acknowledge him or he'd be tempted to be _affectionate_ , tempted to snuggle up against him or press a kiss against the back of his neck or his shoulder blade, tempted to reach out and run his fingers through his hair. They weren't close in that way, he had to remind himself of that on nights like this.

Connor seemed so harmless when he was asleep. He seemed almost small, always curled in on himself, snoring lightly. Jared always had a harder time falling asleep in his presence. He felt like a rabbit trying to curl up and fall asleep right beside a sleeping wolf- it just wasn't practical. 

Jared gave up, finally, and ever so carefully rolled off of his mattress. His body ached, courtesy of Connor. He popped his joints with a quiet sigh, slowly pulling himself up to stand and trudge to the bathroom. He liked to inspect himself after a tryst, his body was like a scavenger hunt of bruises and bites. 

He flipped the bathroom light on and squinted, picking up his glasses from the counter and staring at himself. He looked like a mess as expected. His hair was tousled, neck covered in reddish purple marks, and he couldn't even see the rest yet due to the fact that he was currently wearing the sweatshirt that Connor had come over wearing. It was big on him purely because of the fact that Connor was so _tall_ , and Jared tried not to be insecure about the way it reached his mid thigh. Height was not one of his genetic blessings, unfortunately. 

He lifted the hem of the hoodie up to his chin so that he could inspect the damages. He had scratches this time, a few more marks from Connor's mouth, and a bruise or two. In a weird way, he loved this. He loved seeing the aftermath, he loved feeling so utterly _owned_. Not that he'd be caught dead saying that aloud. He dropped the sweatshirt and elected to just wash his hands before heading back to his room across the hall, where Connor was now sitting up.

"I was just-" Jared began, but Connor shook his head. 

"C'mere." 

And so he did. Jared crawled back over, and Connor wrapped his arms around him securely. 

"Get some sleep, baby," He murmured, kissing his hair. Jared swallowed, nodding quietly and closing his eyes. 

He let himself drift into a dreamless sleep.


End file.
